It's been such a joy having a baby in the house again! There are other emotions, of course, such as exhaustion, frustration, and the occasional suffocating feeling of being overwhelmed. (By the way, I cannot imagine what it must be like to have multiple babies at once. The people who manage this feat have my utmost respect.)
Gannon completes our little family. After the complications we had attempting to expand to a household of four, we're counting our blessings, surely. Our newest member came with a few quirks, though, and they've really kept me on my toes!
First, this little guy was face up during a majority of my labor. That, combined with the fact that we knew he was going to be a hefty little guy, made us realize that a natural birth may not be possible. After some shoving and coaxing by my midwife, and my body's innate ability to correct the issue, Gannon finally turned as he descended down the birth canal (thankfully!).
After we were discharged from the hospital, we struggled mightily with breastfeeding. Avery had been a champion at nursing, so these feeding problems with Gannon were stressful and completely foreign to me. After approximately eight days of attempts - some successful, most not - I remembered a segment I had read in one of the breastfeeding books the hospital had given us. It turns out Gannon was tongue tied! I spoke to the pediatrician on call (Who assured me that even if Gannon was tongue tied, she had only recommended that three cases in her 27 years of practice be surgically fixed, therefore she doubted the problem with nursing was due to his tongue. She told me that most likely our problems were because of poor nursing positions and all we would require was more education on proper latching techniques.). Monday morning I called to set up an appointment with this physician (Not because I liked her, mind you, but because I knew our problems were going to prove her over-the-phone diagnosis wrong. And I love a chance to prove I'm right!).
So, to make a really long story slightly shorter, we saw the physician later that week. She recommended we see one of their lactation consultants to have a latch evaluation, and by Thursday we were seeing an ENT specialist to have a lingual frenectomy.
My breast pump and I are no longer best friends, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. And if the rate of growth of this boy is any indication, we're definitely doing a good job. My two-month-old snuggle bug is currently wearing 6 month size clothing, and I'm lucky if I get two wearings out of any given outfit. Thank goodness for second-hand stores that take gently used children's clothing!
Now I can say that the only challenges we're dealing with in the Weatherby household regularly are that the dog decides he needs to go out at the exact moment that I sit down to feed Gannon, Avery has to have a refill of juice or milk while I'm changing a diaper or bathing his brother, and Gannon decides to fuss while I'm playing with the dog and/or Avery. I've also become much more respectful of single parents; how on earth does one take an infant and a preschooler out on their own? The person who invented the shopping carts with the plastic seats geared for older kids have my complete admiration. And although I vowed I'd never use one, I found myself breaking down and purchasing one of those backpack-leash doodads to keep my misbehaving older child next to me while we're out and about without Matt. I discovered I'd rather deal with the incredulous looks and embarassment at using it than abandoning my infant so I can go chase after his brother.
These little hurdles make me sigh with contentment (and exhaustion) at the end of the day, though. I am a happy woman, indeed.
Showing posts with label Oh Baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oh Baby. Show all posts
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
So Much to Say!
My goodness, it's been a while, hasn't it? I have a number of posts planned just to update you on all that's changed in recent months. First, though, I have to tell you about my newest love.
His name is Gannon Russell. He came into this world kicking and screaming on October 21st of this year. I'll spare you from the labor and delivery play-by-play, but let's just say it was miraculously short (painful as all hell, of course, but short!). After twelve minutes of pushing, out came this nine pound, seven ounce bundle.
Thankfully, his older brother decided a couple months before his arrival that it would be ok to have a little brother (Phew!). Avery has been excited and helpful, sometimes bordering on overzealous. I've decided, however, that I'd much rather have that than deal with an older son who despises his sibling.
I've got loads more to say about this little guy and the chaos he's added to our little family, but for now, I think I'll let some photos do the talking.
His name is Gannon Russell. He came into this world kicking and screaming on October 21st of this year. I'll spare you from the labor and delivery play-by-play, but let's just say it was miraculously short (painful as all hell, of course, but short!). After twelve minutes of pushing, out came this nine pound, seven ounce bundle.
Thankfully, his older brother decided a couple months before his arrival that it would be ok to have a little brother (Phew!). Avery has been excited and helpful, sometimes bordering on overzealous. I've decided, however, that I'd much rather have that than deal with an older son who despises his sibling.
I've got loads more to say about this little guy and the chaos he's added to our little family, but for now, I think I'll let some photos do the talking.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
We'll be having a new baby........
BOY!
Yep, my feelings were nothing more than some wishful thinking, apparently! However, I must say that after learning the gender of our newest family member, I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, really, don't I add enough drama to this Weatherby clan as it is?
Don't answer that. Let's just bask in the happy light of knowing that every little ounce and milimeter of this little guy appears to be healthy, according to the sonogram tech and her measurements.
Okay, here's the exciting part:
Names!
After lots of cool-for-a-minute notions, we've narrowed our list down to two possibilities:
*Ian Russell (Matt's favorite)
*Gannon Russell (My favorite...although I'm quite fond of Ian, also.)
Russell is Matthew's middle name, and his father's first name. Avery has my dad's first name for his middle one, so we always knew if we had another boy we'd follow suit with the other side of the family. And while we were still deliberating girl names, we were considering Matt's mother's name, Alayne (or a form of that name), for either a first name or middle name, should we have a daughter.
We're considering waiting until we meet this little boy to decide which name fits him best. Honestly, though, I've already been trying Gannon out, making sure it's something Avery can pronounce (he still has trouble with R's and L's...and I wasn't positive he'd be able to spit it out...but he can! Yay! One point for Mama's name - we're ignoring the fact that Ian is even easier to say than Gannon, by the way.).
That's about it for Weatherby news currently.
We hope the sun is shining down on you.
Yep, my feelings were nothing more than some wishful thinking, apparently! However, I must say that after learning the gender of our newest family member, I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, really, don't I add enough drama to this Weatherby clan as it is?
Don't answer that. Let's just bask in the happy light of knowing that every little ounce and milimeter of this little guy appears to be healthy, according to the sonogram tech and her measurements.
Okay, here's the exciting part:
Names!
After lots of cool-for-a-minute notions, we've narrowed our list down to two possibilities:
*Ian Russell (Matt's favorite)
*Gannon Russell (My favorite...although I'm quite fond of Ian, also.)
Russell is Matthew's middle name, and his father's first name. Avery has my dad's first name for his middle one, so we always knew if we had another boy we'd follow suit with the other side of the family. And while we were still deliberating girl names, we were considering Matt's mother's name, Alayne (or a form of that name), for either a first name or middle name, should we have a daughter.
We're considering waiting until we meet this little boy to decide which name fits him best. Honestly, though, I've already been trying Gannon out, making sure it's something Avery can pronounce (he still has trouble with R's and L's...and I wasn't positive he'd be able to spit it out...but he can! Yay! One point for Mama's name - we're ignoring the fact that Ian is even easier to say than Gannon, by the way.).
That's about it for Weatherby news currently.
We hope the sun is shining down on you.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
IntelliGender Confusion
For some reason, I've been slightly convinced that this little bean I'm carrying just might be a girl. (Really, this is only supported by two very weak facts: 1. I've been crazy-sick this pregnancy, and 2. Baby's heart rate has been in the high 150's to low 160's range.) It's been killing me that we have to wait so long to find out the sex of the baby! I mean, hey, Matt and I have agreed that this is our last babe, so it's sort of our last hoorah - or something.
Anyway, our ultrasound is scheduled for May 28th. Woohoo. Great. Whoop-dee-doo. That's still another 3 weeks away! My in-laws are coming the week before, and it would be fantastic if we knew, and could celebrate, when they're here. I even considered calling my physician's office to see if we could move our appointment a week earlier. Then I remembered I'll just be 18 weeks on the 28th...and since the window of optimum heart imaging is between 18-20 weeks, I figured we'd better not push our luck. So I gave in.
Then I talked to my friend, Sara, last night! There is something called the IntelliGender Gender Prediction Test. As my pal was explaining this to me, I was thinking that it's probably about as accurate as dangling a pendant above your belly and waiting to see if it moves from side to side, or in circles (By the way, I did this one, too...and it made circles - which is supposed to mean it's a girl!). But apparently, some actual "doctors" claim that this test is 90% accurate, and can be performed as early as 10 weeks into your pregnancy. It detects hormones in your urine, indicating by a color code the sex of your baby.
Ok, so I wasn't exactly convinced yet...but I sure was curious. So this morning I headed to my local CVS pharmacy and bought a test ($40 plus tax!!!). Now, I didn't take photos of my results, but I can tell you they looked like the girl results on this page! I'm not about to rush out and buy everything pink and ruffly I can find, but it's sort of fun - especially if it's accurate! If, on the 28th, however, we're told we're having another boy, I will definitely regret the purchase price. My husband will surely have something to say on the matter, as well.
Anyway, our ultrasound is scheduled for May 28th. Woohoo. Great. Whoop-dee-doo. That's still another 3 weeks away! My in-laws are coming the week before, and it would be fantastic if we knew, and could celebrate, when they're here. I even considered calling my physician's office to see if we could move our appointment a week earlier. Then I remembered I'll just be 18 weeks on the 28th...and since the window of optimum heart imaging is between 18-20 weeks, I figured we'd better not push our luck. So I gave in.
Then I talked to my friend, Sara, last night! There is something called the IntelliGender Gender Prediction Test. As my pal was explaining this to me, I was thinking that it's probably about as accurate as dangling a pendant above your belly and waiting to see if it moves from side to side, or in circles (By the way, I did this one, too...and it made circles - which is supposed to mean it's a girl!). But apparently, some actual "doctors" claim that this test is 90% accurate, and can be performed as early as 10 weeks into your pregnancy. It detects hormones in your urine, indicating by a color code the sex of your baby.
Ok, so I wasn't exactly convinced yet...but I sure was curious. So this morning I headed to my local CVS pharmacy and bought a test ($40 plus tax!!!). Now, I didn't take photos of my results, but I can tell you they looked like the girl results on this page! I'm not about to rush out and buy everything pink and ruffly I can find, but it's sort of fun - especially if it's accurate! If, on the 28th, however, we're told we're having another boy, I will definitely regret the purchase price. My husband will surely have something to say on the matter, as well.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Goodbye, First Trimester!
We won't be missing you!
That's right! We finally hit the 13 week mark. No more progesterone supplements, no more vomiting (at least, not in the last week+), and the exhaustion levels have certainly decreased.
On another positive note, I had another OB check yesterday. Baby's heart rate is still in the high 150's, and my doctor is confident that things will go smoothly from here on out! I had been going in every two weeks to monitor the baby's heart rate and make sure everything else was progressing normally, and after yesterday's visit, I was told I didn't have to come back for 5 weeks!
So, on May 28th we will do another ultrasound (and if things go well, we should find out the sex!) and an appointment with my doctor. During the ultrasound they will focus in on the four chambers of the baby's heart, to make certain our new little one doesn't have any congenital heart defects. Since Avery has a couple issues in that department, our chances are slightly higher that we'd have another child with a similar problem. There has been nothing thus far to indicate that this baby has anything abnormal going on, but knowledge is power in this sort of situation, and the medical staff would like to be aware should our baby need any special care upon birth.
(*Praying that isn't necessary whatsoever!)
In other news, Avery is immensely enjoying "listening" to the baby in Mommy's tummy :) It makes me happy, too, knowing he's excited about the prospect of a new sibling. Let's just hope that good-natured attitude keeps up once the little one is here and wailing 'round the clock!
Happy weekend to you all.
That's right! We finally hit the 13 week mark. No more progesterone supplements, no more vomiting (at least, not in the last week+), and the exhaustion levels have certainly decreased.
On another positive note, I had another OB check yesterday. Baby's heart rate is still in the high 150's, and my doctor is confident that things will go smoothly from here on out! I had been going in every two weeks to monitor the baby's heart rate and make sure everything else was progressing normally, and after yesterday's visit, I was told I didn't have to come back for 5 weeks!
So, on May 28th we will do another ultrasound (and if things go well, we should find out the sex!) and an appointment with my doctor. During the ultrasound they will focus in on the four chambers of the baby's heart, to make certain our new little one doesn't have any congenital heart defects. Since Avery has a couple issues in that department, our chances are slightly higher that we'd have another child with a similar problem. There has been nothing thus far to indicate that this baby has anything abnormal going on, but knowledge is power in this sort of situation, and the medical staff would like to be aware should our baby need any special care upon birth.
(*Praying that isn't necessary whatsoever!)
In other news, Avery is immensely enjoying "listening" to the baby in Mommy's tummy :) It makes me happy, too, knowing he's excited about the prospect of a new sibling. Let's just hope that good-natured attitude keeps up once the little one is here and wailing 'round the clock!
Happy weekend to you all.
Monday, March 8, 2010
6 Weeks and 3 Days
That's how far along we are in this pregnancy! Phew -- I've been debating whether it's too early to announce it to the world, but I've been at my bursting point for way too long...so announcing it I am.
I'm not foolish enough to believe we're in the clear yet, though. After all, I was eight weeks when we lost one before. However, as soon as I saw the two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I called my physician's office, went in for lab work, and discovered my hormone levels weren't spiking as they should have been. I've been on progesterone supplements since we found out about this little bun in my oven, and thankfully, they seem to be doing their job.
We had our first ultrasound on Friday, to make sure things were developing as they should. We got to see the baby's heart beat! And here is the craziest part: our ultrasound tech informed us that a fetus' (I don't particularly care for that term...) heart starts to beat between five weeks five days and five weeks six days, and according to her findings, I was at five weeks six days on Friday. She told us it was entirely possible that the little heart had just started beating within hours! Honestly, I didn't really care when exactly it had happened as long as we could see proof that things were going well so far. And that little heart beat sure calmed my fears for a good while.
So the plan is that I'll stay on the supplements through the first twelve weeks of pregnancy, when we are most susceptible to issues. We have another ultrasound scheduled at the end of March, just to make sure everything is still on track. We will also have our first doctor's visit, so hopefully by that time we can be even more confident that this pregnancy will result in an addition to our little family.
I've been praying, and praying, and praying. And I don't think I'll be stopping anytime soon.
Let this be the one!
I'm not foolish enough to believe we're in the clear yet, though. After all, I was eight weeks when we lost one before. However, as soon as I saw the two pink lines on the pregnancy test, I called my physician's office, went in for lab work, and discovered my hormone levels weren't spiking as they should have been. I've been on progesterone supplements since we found out about this little bun in my oven, and thankfully, they seem to be doing their job.
We had our first ultrasound on Friday, to make sure things were developing as they should. We got to see the baby's heart beat! And here is the craziest part: our ultrasound tech informed us that a fetus' (I don't particularly care for that term...) heart starts to beat between five weeks five days and five weeks six days, and according to her findings, I was at five weeks six days on Friday. She told us it was entirely possible that the little heart had just started beating within hours! Honestly, I didn't really care when exactly it had happened as long as we could see proof that things were going well so far. And that little heart beat sure calmed my fears for a good while.
So the plan is that I'll stay on the supplements through the first twelve weeks of pregnancy, when we are most susceptible to issues. We have another ultrasound scheduled at the end of March, just to make sure everything is still on track. We will also have our first doctor's visit, so hopefully by that time we can be even more confident that this pregnancy will result in an addition to our little family.
I've been praying, and praying, and praying. And I don't think I'll be stopping anytime soon.
Let this be the one!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Seeing Red
*If you have a weak stomach, please don't read the rest of this post. Please.*
Sunday.
I went grocery shopping.
Concocted Pioneer Woman's Baba Ghanoush.
Made scalloped potatoes and ham for supper.
Tried to tell Avery he didn't need to watch Spiderman 3 for the fourth day in a row.
Washed the supper dishes.
Baked cookies for my grandma, who helps with her church's version of the "Welcome Wagon."
Washed baking dishes.
And started to miscarry.
Being nearly 8 weeks pregnant, the last thing I expected when I took a bathroom break was to find red-tinged toilet paper. My mother is a nurse, as I've mentioned, and she calmly and confidently told me not to get too worked up; that some women have spotting during pregnancy. I was to just monitor the situation and call my Dr's office in the morning.
So I did. I monitored the situation like a fanatic.
Every couple of hours I would sit straight up in bed, unable to shut off my mind and return to sleep. Is it worse? Has it stopped? I would try to fool myself into feeling confident, trying to walk slowly to my bathroom like I had all the reason in the world to take my time.
Like my brain wasn't clanging against my skull with jittery nervousness.
Like my hands weren't shaking uncontrollably.
Like my heart wasn't trying to pang its way out of my chest.
Like it wasn't a strong conscious effort to take a deep breath.
So with those shaking hands, I swiped again with the toilet paper. It was redder, darker, and there was more of it. And was it just my mind overworking, or was I feeling some cramping?
Each time I went to check, it was worse than the time before. My heart was plummeting to places that were shady with their incredible sadness and negativity, and each time it dove down there, I reeled it back in, attempting to stay positive.
When morning finally came, my husband kissed me and told me everything would be okay. He left for work, and I called my OB nurse...and left a message. I felt like I watched every damn minute tick by until she finally called back - nearly two hours later. She told me that some women experience bleeding between their 6th and 8th week of pregnancy, when the embryo burrows down into your uterine lining. She told me this doesn't happen to every woman, and it doesn't occur during every pregnancy. I was to come in for some blood tests to check my hormone levels. I was also told that some women's bodies don't produce enough progesterone to support pregnancy, and that if I had low levels, they could supplement them to help my body be more stable for the baby growing inside.
I called Matt. He was coming home to watch Avery so that I didn't have to keep track of a two-year-old while I had blood drawn.
I put in Spiderman 3 and headed for the shower. I undressed and looked down at my barely-showing belly.
What's happening? I wondered for the hundredth time in about 8 hours.
I said a little prayer and stepped into the shower. (Why do I only think to pray when things are scary or not going well? What makes me think my prayers will be answered? For someone who isn't incredibly religious, it seems a bit pathetic to reach out to God when I don't regularly make Him a part of my daily life.)
As I felt the hot water stream down my body, I looked down. And saw clots. Horrible, deep scarlet splotches dropping to the floor of my shower, and being quickly whisked down the drain. I made myself look up and continued showering. I finished, stepped out of the shower, and hoped the worst was done.
The cramping wasn't my imagination, and it continued.
Matt returned home, and I left for the clinic. After I registered, I entered the lab waiting room. Do you know how many large, pregnant bellies one sees on a Monday morning in the lab? Thirteen. I counted. And that was in a 20 minute time frame. Finally my name was called, and I followed the phlebotomist back to have my blood drawn. I have "terrible veins" apparently, and watching the vile woman wriggle that needle in my arm, searching frantically for my vein just about put me over the edge. But I just closed my eyes, grit my teeth, and imagined bashing her head against the Band-Aid dispenser.
I was told that it should take only an hour to have the results back. I was to call my OB nurse again and let her know we were awaiting my results. I had left the clinic at 10:45 that morning, so by my calculations, I should have my results by noon - at the latest.
I tried to show I was cool, calm, and collected - I waited until 11:51 to call. And left another message. I endured their insanely long, informative but infuriating voicemail message about pregnant women needing to get flu shots, and how their line is answered "between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm. We are not available to take your call right now, so please leave your name, date of birth, chart number, your doctor's name, and contact number, and we will return your call as soon as we are able."
Which turned out to be three minutes before 2 pm. Do you know how evil your mind can be in that length of time? Very.
It turns out my Hcg (pregnancy hormone) and progesterone were extremely low. I was told that the normal level for a pregnant woman's progesterone is 20 - mine was 1.4. And the tale I was told about getting this hormone supplemented, should it be lower than normal? Apparently a pregnancy is only worth "saving" if your levels are 10 or above. The OB nurse informed me that it's best "just wait and see how things play out. We don't want to try and save a bad pregnancy."
Wow. Did this woman take lessons to become cold and careless with her words?
I sat propped against the pillows in my bed.
I tried to stay calm.
And dammit, I needed to pee. I was beginning to despise the bathroom. Every time I entered, I would cling desperately to the hope that maybe this time I wouldn't see blood. And every time the bleeding was worse.
I hadn't cried yet after hanging up with the nurse. On my way out of the bathroom Matt asked me how I was. Evidently he hadn't heard the phone ring; he didn't know of our news. All I could manage was, "The nurse called back. Not good." Then I scurried back into my cave/room and burrowed into the covers. I just wanted to sink in and never surface again. I rolled onto my side, facing the closet, and saw all of the maternity clothes hanging there. I looked down, and at the foot of my bed was the double stroller I had purchased at a garage sale only a couple weeks earlier.
I was sobbing so hard I thought surely I would wake Avery from his nap.
How could this be happening? We wanted this baby. It was no accident that we were expecting! And after two unplanned pregnancies before this one with no problems to speak of, why this? Why us?
---------------------------------------------
I have to go in today for more blood work. They will need to check whether my body has done its job and pushed everything through, or whether a doctor will have to assist with completing that job. It's called a D & C. And I am desperately hoping that it's not necessary.
I believe I'm a strong woman.
I know I will get through this. And I know we will try again when we're told it's safe. But I know there will be fear of this happening again. And I believe it will make me more reserved and cautious about announcing a pregnancy, should we be fortunate enough to have another.
The absolute only positive thing that has come from this is that I look at Avery and see a miracle. The stars aligned, we were blessed, everything went as it should have with his fetal development.
Of that, I am now so incredibly grateful.
Sunday.
I went grocery shopping.
Concocted Pioneer Woman's Baba Ghanoush.
Made scalloped potatoes and ham for supper.
Tried to tell Avery he didn't need to watch Spiderman 3 for the fourth day in a row.
Washed the supper dishes.
Baked cookies for my grandma, who helps with her church's version of the "Welcome Wagon."
Washed baking dishes.
And started to miscarry.
Being nearly 8 weeks pregnant, the last thing I expected when I took a bathroom break was to find red-tinged toilet paper. My mother is a nurse, as I've mentioned, and she calmly and confidently told me not to get too worked up; that some women have spotting during pregnancy. I was to just monitor the situation and call my Dr's office in the morning.
So I did. I monitored the situation like a fanatic.
Every couple of hours I would sit straight up in bed, unable to shut off my mind and return to sleep. Is it worse? Has it stopped? I would try to fool myself into feeling confident, trying to walk slowly to my bathroom like I had all the reason in the world to take my time.
Like my brain wasn't clanging against my skull with jittery nervousness.
Like my hands weren't shaking uncontrollably.
Like my heart wasn't trying to pang its way out of my chest.
Like it wasn't a strong conscious effort to take a deep breath.
So with those shaking hands, I swiped again with the toilet paper. It was redder, darker, and there was more of it. And was it just my mind overworking, or was I feeling some cramping?
Each time I went to check, it was worse than the time before. My heart was plummeting to places that were shady with their incredible sadness and negativity, and each time it dove down there, I reeled it back in, attempting to stay positive.
When morning finally came, my husband kissed me and told me everything would be okay. He left for work, and I called my OB nurse...and left a message. I felt like I watched every damn minute tick by until she finally called back - nearly two hours later. She told me that some women experience bleeding between their 6th and 8th week of pregnancy, when the embryo burrows down into your uterine lining. She told me this doesn't happen to every woman, and it doesn't occur during every pregnancy. I was to come in for some blood tests to check my hormone levels. I was also told that some women's bodies don't produce enough progesterone to support pregnancy, and that if I had low levels, they could supplement them to help my body be more stable for the baby growing inside.
I called Matt. He was coming home to watch Avery so that I didn't have to keep track of a two-year-old while I had blood drawn.
I put in Spiderman 3 and headed for the shower. I undressed and looked down at my barely-showing belly.
What's happening? I wondered for the hundredth time in about 8 hours.
I said a little prayer and stepped into the shower. (Why do I only think to pray when things are scary or not going well? What makes me think my prayers will be answered? For someone who isn't incredibly religious, it seems a bit pathetic to reach out to God when I don't regularly make Him a part of my daily life.)
As I felt the hot water stream down my body, I looked down. And saw clots. Horrible, deep scarlet splotches dropping to the floor of my shower, and being quickly whisked down the drain. I made myself look up and continued showering. I finished, stepped out of the shower, and hoped the worst was done.
The cramping wasn't my imagination, and it continued.
Matt returned home, and I left for the clinic. After I registered, I entered the lab waiting room. Do you know how many large, pregnant bellies one sees on a Monday morning in the lab? Thirteen. I counted. And that was in a 20 minute time frame. Finally my name was called, and I followed the phlebotomist back to have my blood drawn. I have "terrible veins" apparently, and watching the vile woman wriggle that needle in my arm, searching frantically for my vein just about put me over the edge. But I just closed my eyes, grit my teeth, and imagined bashing her head against the Band-Aid dispenser.
I was told that it should take only an hour to have the results back. I was to call my OB nurse again and let her know we were awaiting my results. I had left the clinic at 10:45 that morning, so by my calculations, I should have my results by noon - at the latest.
I tried to show I was cool, calm, and collected - I waited until 11:51 to call. And left another message. I endured their insanely long, informative but infuriating voicemail message about pregnant women needing to get flu shots, and how their line is answered "between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm. We are not available to take your call right now, so please leave your name, date of birth, chart number, your doctor's name, and contact number, and we will return your call as soon as we are able."
Which turned out to be three minutes before 2 pm. Do you know how evil your mind can be in that length of time? Very.
It turns out my Hcg (pregnancy hormone) and progesterone were extremely low. I was told that the normal level for a pregnant woman's progesterone is 20 - mine was 1.4. And the tale I was told about getting this hormone supplemented, should it be lower than normal? Apparently a pregnancy is only worth "saving" if your levels are 10 or above. The OB nurse informed me that it's best "just wait and see how things play out. We don't want to try and save a bad pregnancy."
Wow. Did this woman take lessons to become cold and careless with her words?
I sat propped against the pillows in my bed.
I tried to stay calm.
And dammit, I needed to pee. I was beginning to despise the bathroom. Every time I entered, I would cling desperately to the hope that maybe this time I wouldn't see blood. And every time the bleeding was worse.
I hadn't cried yet after hanging up with the nurse. On my way out of the bathroom Matt asked me how I was. Evidently he hadn't heard the phone ring; he didn't know of our news. All I could manage was, "The nurse called back. Not good." Then I scurried back into my cave/room and burrowed into the covers. I just wanted to sink in and never surface again. I rolled onto my side, facing the closet, and saw all of the maternity clothes hanging there. I looked down, and at the foot of my bed was the double stroller I had purchased at a garage sale only a couple weeks earlier.
I was sobbing so hard I thought surely I would wake Avery from his nap.
How could this be happening? We wanted this baby. It was no accident that we were expecting! And after two unplanned pregnancies before this one with no problems to speak of, why this? Why us?
---------------------------------------------
I have to go in today for more blood work. They will need to check whether my body has done its job and pushed everything through, or whether a doctor will have to assist with completing that job. It's called a D & C. And I am desperately hoping that it's not necessary.
I believe I'm a strong woman.
I know I will get through this. And I know we will try again when we're told it's safe. But I know there will be fear of this happening again. And I believe it will make me more reserved and cautious about announcing a pregnancy, should we be fortunate enough to have another.
The absolute only positive thing that has come from this is that I look at Avery and see a miracle. The stars aligned, we were blessed, everything went as it should have with his fetal development.
Of that, I am now so incredibly grateful.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Great Medical Facility Debate
We've had to make a decision about where we are going to doctor with this little baking bun.
I've been a medical receptionist off and on for almost five years, and I've worked for both medical facilities in our small community. They each have their pros and cons, so it was sort of daunting to decide where we will spend our considerable bun-birthing dollars.
There are a number of factors that played into our final decision. The first, and probably most important, is that both of my previous deliveries took place at Innovis Health. I had no prenatal care with baby number one (that's a story for another time...), but feel that the birthing process and the care given were certainly as accommodating and genuine as one could have hoped for in that situation. (Did that make any sense?)
Four years after that first delivery, my husband and I found ourselves in need of an obstetrician for our first baby together. So who would we choose? Why, the same man who delivered baby number one, of course! Dr. Greg Glasner is an extremely likable, caring, and knowledgeable physician. However, he is now the CEO of Innovis Health, which means he now spends more time attending board meetings than he does delivering babies. Bummer for us.
So now we virtually have a blank slate. Who to choose?
After Avery was born, his heart condition required us to see a pediatric cardiologist (he has an ASD and a VSD, in case you're wondering). It turns out the only one in town was located at MeritCare. So off we went, MeritCare newbies, lost in a maze of criss-crossing hallways and a sea of other patients. And while Dr. Rodrigo Rios took wonderful care of our worries and our tiny boy, we were never tempted to turn all of Avery's care over to MeritCare.
Perhaps it could be said that most of my loyalty to Innovis (formerly Dakota Clinic) is due to family roots. My mother is a nurse, and has worked for Dakota Clinic for many years. Growing up, I was always taken there for illnesses, check-ups, and annual sports physicals. This is also where my parents were hospitalized each time my dad had a heart attack/stroke, and my mother had cardioversions to treat her congestive heart failure. Anyway, you get the point: lots of strong, deep roots.
Then, when I went back to work full time after Avery was born, I just happened to get a position with MeritCare. To be honest, I felt a bit like a traitor. But take the job, I did, and I can honestly tell you it was the best fit I've ever had in the employment arena. (I say this past-tense only because my child apparently has issues with daycares, and I am now his full time care provider again.)
Ok...back on track, Megan.
For insurance coverage purposes, one who is employed by MeritCare doctors with MeritCare (otherwise you get screwed up the wazoo with out-of-network costs). So we chose a new pediatrician for Avery, and Matthew and I chose MeritCare providers for ourselves.
So, do we stick with our new network of caregivers? Or do we go back to the providers we know and love...a network of people we've known for years and years?
The unknown is scary. Would the MeritCare labor and delivery nurses be as good, as compassionate, as patient as they were at Innovis? Would the lactation consultant be as understanding, helpful, and encouraging? And possibly the most important question: Would the doctor who has gotten to know us during all of our prenatal visits be the one to deliver our baby? Would he remember my name? My husband's name? Our son's name? Whether we were expecting a boy or a girl - or, heaven forbid, more than one baby?
Also, I have given birth twice without an epidural. I have not needed the surgical expertise of a medical doctor. If this area offered one, I may even have opted for a birthing center, rather than a hospital setting for this baby's birth. I plan to go as naturally as possible again this time.
The answer is that for us, Innovis Health is the right choice. We know them. We don't always love every teeny tiny thing about them, but at least we know their flaws, and we can accept them. We have chosen Terry Burrell this time around. After Dr. Glasner moved on to administrative duties, I saw Terry for an annual check-up, and liked him. He's also a CNM, which means I will be one step closer to a more natural birth. MeritCare, I discovered, does not offer any midwives for prenatal care or delivery.
Sometime in May (most likely), you will find us on the sixth floor of Innovis Health. I'll be exhausted and uncomfortable, but I'll be content and happy, too, knowing we made the right decision for our little family.
I've been a medical receptionist off and on for almost five years, and I've worked for both medical facilities in our small community. They each have their pros and cons, so it was sort of daunting to decide where we will spend our considerable bun-birthing dollars.
There are a number of factors that played into our final decision. The first, and probably most important, is that both of my previous deliveries took place at Innovis Health. I had no prenatal care with baby number one (that's a story for another time...), but feel that the birthing process and the care given were certainly as accommodating and genuine as one could have hoped for in that situation. (Did that make any sense?)
Four years after that first delivery, my husband and I found ourselves in need of an obstetrician for our first baby together. So who would we choose? Why, the same man who delivered baby number one, of course! Dr. Greg Glasner is an extremely likable, caring, and knowledgeable physician. However, he is now the CEO of Innovis Health, which means he now spends more time attending board meetings than he does delivering babies. Bummer for us.
So now we virtually have a blank slate. Who to choose?
After Avery was born, his heart condition required us to see a pediatric cardiologist (he has an ASD and a VSD, in case you're wondering). It turns out the only one in town was located at MeritCare. So off we went, MeritCare newbies, lost in a maze of criss-crossing hallways and a sea of other patients. And while Dr. Rodrigo Rios took wonderful care of our worries and our tiny boy, we were never tempted to turn all of Avery's care over to MeritCare.
Perhaps it could be said that most of my loyalty to Innovis (formerly Dakota Clinic) is due to family roots. My mother is a nurse, and has worked for Dakota Clinic for many years. Growing up, I was always taken there for illnesses, check-ups, and annual sports physicals. This is also where my parents were hospitalized each time my dad had a heart attack/stroke, and my mother had cardioversions to treat her congestive heart failure. Anyway, you get the point: lots of strong, deep roots.
Then, when I went back to work full time after Avery was born, I just happened to get a position with MeritCare. To be honest, I felt a bit like a traitor. But take the job, I did, and I can honestly tell you it was the best fit I've ever had in the employment arena. (I say this past-tense only because my child apparently has issues with daycares, and I am now his full time care provider again.)
Ok...back on track, Megan.
For insurance coverage purposes, one who is employed by MeritCare doctors with MeritCare (otherwise you get screwed up the wazoo with out-of-network costs). So we chose a new pediatrician for Avery, and Matthew and I chose MeritCare providers for ourselves.
So, do we stick with our new network of caregivers? Or do we go back to the providers we know and love...a network of people we've known for years and years?
The unknown is scary. Would the MeritCare labor and delivery nurses be as good, as compassionate, as patient as they were at Innovis? Would the lactation consultant be as understanding, helpful, and encouraging? And possibly the most important question: Would the doctor who has gotten to know us during all of our prenatal visits be the one to deliver our baby? Would he remember my name? My husband's name? Our son's name? Whether we were expecting a boy or a girl - or, heaven forbid, more than one baby?
Also, I have given birth twice without an epidural. I have not needed the surgical expertise of a medical doctor. If this area offered one, I may even have opted for a birthing center, rather than a hospital setting for this baby's birth. I plan to go as naturally as possible again this time.
The answer is that for us, Innovis Health is the right choice. We know them. We don't always love every teeny tiny thing about them, but at least we know their flaws, and we can accept them. We have chosen Terry Burrell this time around. After Dr. Glasner moved on to administrative duties, I saw Terry for an annual check-up, and liked him. He's also a CNM, which means I will be one step closer to a more natural birth. MeritCare, I discovered, does not offer any midwives for prenatal care or delivery.
Sometime in May (most likely), you will find us on the sixth floor of Innovis Health. I'll be exhausted and uncomfortable, but I'll be content and happy, too, knowing we made the right decision for our little family.
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