Facing Mortality...

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." ~Isaac Asimov


A friend of mine blogged about her preferences regarding the planning of her funeral. I had never really given this topic much thought. I've been to four funerals in my lifetime - a pretty small number, if you ask me. I'm not especially familiar with what's traditional, nor do I particularly care what is expected. "To each their own," as the saying goes.

The whole point of a funeral, I believe, is to gather every person who cared about you during your lifetime together, so that they may offer support to your family and to bid you farewell (sort of, I guess, since technically you're already gone). How does a person learn how to let go of a loved one, though? If you're very young, you are probably just told that Grandpa (or whomever) was taken to heaven to be with the angels. Maybe you write a little note for him and send it away with a balloon - I don't know...I'm just kind of brainstorming here. This might help a child adjust to the loss, but what about adults? I'm guessing not many of us send notes into the sky with balloons. I'm also guessing there aren't many of us who sit at their computer or pick up a pen and paper so that they can vent their feelings of grief in that form.

I have grandparents in their 80's. My husband's maternal grandparents are in pretty poor health, and my own parents are facing a tough road, as well. My mother has congestive heart failure and atrial fibrillation. My father had a heart attack in his early 40's, and just last year had a fairly serious stroke. Taking that into consideration, chances are I'll be losing my parents earlier rather than later.

So, how does a person like myself start to come to terms with loved ones' mortality? Or even my own? I've never really had to say goodbye to someone especially close to me.

I think I'm fairly realistic and accepting of my own mortality. I know someday I'll die. I don't know what I'd prefer at my own funeral. I'd just like it to be about comforting my family and friends, giving them whatever will be most helpful in moving past my death. The only aspect that I think I have issues with is the idea that I won't be around to do or see all the things I had hoped. I'd like to be around for my children's first day of kindergarten, junior high, graduation, wedding, birth of their own children, etc. To miss out on those things would be unimaginable.

I feel as though I should end this post with some sort of resolution -- something like "I guess we just live our regular lives and deal with death as it comes..." But that doesn't help me! It doesn't give me any sort of new light to shine on the topic. Other than the obvious: telling those you love how you feel about them, and appreciating each and every day you're given, I have nothing to bring forward with me. Is there anyone out there with the sort of wisdom this topic requires? Or do we all just wonder how we'll cope until the moment arrives?